The Grandmother Of All Colds!

Never trust anyone who has a bad cold or flu and tells you that it sounds and looks worse than it really is!Such people are not to be trusted! I'm sure there are those who believe exactly what they're telling you, but they're probably in the minority.
Those are the stoic ones who will weather the storms of life with a smile and more intestinal fortitude than most of us will ever have; certainly not me! I have a cold now and I want the world to know that I feel that death is the only thing that will make me feel better.
The only real relief there is when you feel as lousy as I do, is to whine and moan about your illness, until those around you are ready to put you out of your misery.
I know that most people would prefer I shut my mouth and suffer in silence, but that would rob me of the only pleasurable activity possible during my cold! My head aches, my eyes itch and burn as tears run down my cheek, soaking the pillow where I lay my feverish head.
It feels as if every bone in my body aches, as well as muscles that I didn't even know I had threaten to spasm.
It feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest, as difficult as it is to breathe.
I would call out for another spoonful of cough syrup, but my throat is so raw all I get out is a raspy whisper of doom.
I'm sure I'm on the brink of death from the common cold, except in my case the cold isn't common.
It's the grandmother of all colds! According to some estimates, people in the United States suffer 1 billion colds during the course of a year!Surveys indicate that children have as many as 6-10 colds a year because they're in close contact with other kids at day care centers and schools.
They just keep passing the germs around so that no one is safe from a cold.
I can't imagine having that many colds each year! Praying I could find something to ease my pain and suffering I went to the drug store to find that special potion that would give me some relief.
Was I in for a surprise!There was so much stuff to choose from, that my temperature rose 3 degrees while I was trying to figure out just what to buy! There were formulas for chest congestion, heavy chest congestion, stuffy nose, and coughs, mucus relief that thins and loosens membranes, sore throat formulas, headache formulas, body aches and runny nose pills.
I had all these including a congested nose and a runny nose at the same time!I needed something that would address all these issues.
I finally found a huge selection of cough syrups and capsules that proposed to do just that!The problem was that there were just too many to choose from and they ranged in price from $3.
95 to $14.
99.
Which one was I to choose?Should I take the highest priced tonic that had to be the best, or go with a middle line?They all promised to do the same thing, so what should it matter which I chose? Looking on the back of the box of one of these cold remedies, I read the part that said if you are a diabetic or have high blood pressure you should consult your doctor.
I was frantic!I called my doctor from my cell phone.
I have his number on speed dial.
All I got was a recording! A pharmacist who had been watching me for about 20 minutes walked over and asked if he could help me.
I told him my dilemma and he suggested a couple of attractive looking bottles, telling me that either one of them would work.
Though he sounded confident, I wasn't sure if he really understood the severity of my case.
I had one foot in the grave!I needed industrial strength medication and this guy was trying to tell me that the middle category of drugs was just as good!The druggist assured me that one was just as good as another one.
That did little to console me so I bought 3 different brands of the same thing.
I figured that if I survived, I'd have to use all of them to see me through this illness.
I feel that I owe it to the people I meet to whine and complain about my suffering through this cold.
After all, it makes most folks feel just a little better when they leave someone who complains a lot about their health.