If You Want Your Ex Back, Don"t Use Revenge

If you just went through a break up and you want your ex back, beware of the urge to "get back at them".
After a breakup there is always the urge to want to get some kind of revenge.
It's not the kind of revenge that is intended to hurt them long term.
But, if you're not careful that is exactly what you will do.
It will be counter productive if you want to get your ex back.
There is always the urge to use a common friend or even a common acquaintance to send a message to your ex that you are desirable, to have your ex jealous.
Don't do it.
You won't end up with the results you intended.
All of us have insecurities and when we are in a relationship those insecurities become vulnerable.
To lose a loved one is a humongous wake up call.
We question everything about ourselves, our looks, our smile, our weight, our clothes, our car, everything.
What you have to do is be nice, be yourself, not someone you fabricate because of the breakup.
There is a chance you will have to deal with your ex during the breakup.
When you do you want to present the nice side of yourself, don't over do it, but be a pleasant you, it will go a long way if you want your ex back.
If you nag or complain all you will do is remind them of the reasons that the breakup happened in the first place.
The last thing you want to do is drive them farther away.
Don't try to recreate yourself.
The person you present yourself as is the person you will have to be when you get back together.
Think about it, if you have to be someone other than your true self to get back together, do you really want to be in this relationship.
However just being pleasant can do wonders in making your ex want you back.
Think about the times when you first started dating and you were building the relationship.
Try to be the person who attracted your ex in the first place.
Remember that to get your ex back through some kind of revenge tactic would be a shallow victory.
What you want to do is get to a place where you and your ex can talk about what the problems were and to start talking about possible resolutions to the problems.
If you have caused resentful feelings you may not ever get to the resolutions.
Your ex may not want to deal with you at all.
Don't use revenge, it will not work.