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It had seen the ending of a long overdue 11yr relationship.
It also witnessed the start of my resurrection from unemployment after the economic downturn.
I had found myself navigating the treacherous waters of economic hardship as had most for the last few years.
If our thoughts manifest into action, I was due for new ones to infiltrate the stagnancy that had become my daily ruminations.
The end of a relationship can prompt you to rethink who you are, where you are going in life and in general your entire existence on the planet.
I was depressed, despondent and wondering how I would get over the removal of a presence even that of a negative one I had come to know as my partner.
I relegated to throwing myself into my new job.
I began working 10-12 hr days to refrain from thinking about the past and becoming resistant to the future.
I did a friend inventory and determined who in my life should remain and who needed to move on in order to clear space for new positive souls in my life.
Asides from the occasional crying fit on my best friends couch, I was determined to move on with my life and come out on the other side stronger, healthier and free of resentment.
Then one day it hit me, I was ready to get back out on the scene.
I was ready to take a chance and find a new someone that I could at least call on for a dinner or movie.
The next concern was that I had forgotten how to meet new women of interest.
Where could someone in their 40's go, to meet new and exciting people who may or may not have lived similarly interesting lives.
Of course, the answer was right before me, the internet.
There were tons of sites that were geared towards every passing fancy.
I selected a common and more popular singles site to place a personals ad in the women looking for women section.
I told myself that I would not be one of those kinds of people, obsessed with getting a response, trolling the site everyday for new faces or answering everyone who inquired about my status.
I would be a more sophisticated internet dater.
Insert laughter here.
Overall the responses I received were good and positive.
I received over 30 winks which served as a nice little ego boost after doubting my own worth at the end of my last relationship.
After meeting a few people in person and relegating some to acquaintances, I met her.
She had initiated the first contact by sending me a wink and then adding me as a favorite on her list of possible romantic interests.
I went to her profile to check out what she had written about herself and my curiosity was awakened.
I didn't respond back right away but I did send a return wink.
I took a few days before I finally sent an email to find out a little more about her.
Within a few days, we decided to meet in person.
She had selected a local afterhours spot in her city for us to have drinks and chat.
When I walked in the establishment, I knew she was the one.
There as something familiar that came to mind when I saw her sitting there with a wide welcoming smile as though it was just our usual date night after having been together for a number of years.
Love at first sight has never been a believable thing for me.
I always thought it to be passé and unrealistic, yet here I was feeling something that I had never before experienced in my life.
She gave me a big hug and said it was nice to finally meet me in person.
I remember simply breathing in her scent and closing my eyes in the comfort of her embrace.
The rest is history to utilize the common cliché.
We have been inseparable ever since.
There is a contentment that has entered my life ever since I met her.
I was finally ready to be grown up in a relationship, to work on being a better me regardless and independent of the relationship.
I didn't want to repeat the mistakes of my past, instead I wanted to be vulnerable and open to allowing someone to appreciate the true me with all of my faults.
It's still too early to know if there are wedding bells in the future, but what I do know is that it feels great to love and be loved with abandon.
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