Trauma Bonding in Adult Children of Narcissistic Personality Disordered Mothers

Adult sons and daughters of narcissistic personality disordered mothers may develop Stockholm Syndrome as a survival technique against abuse.
The symptoms can last well into adulthood.
Therefore, as recovering adults in pursuit of recovery, it is helpful to understand the causes and symptoms of this phenomenon.
What is Stockholm Syndrome? On August 23, 1973, Jan-Erik Olsson walked into Kreditbanken at Norrmalmstorg, central Stockholm, and robbed the bank.
The police arrived quickly, but not before Olsson wounded a police office and took four hostages.
For the next six days the hostages were held at gunpoint in the bank vault.
During the course of the ordeal one of the hostages turned on the police, taking up for her capture.
The shocking behavior did not stop when the hostages regained their freedom.
Olsson threatened, abused and caused the captives to fear for their lives, but they took up for him.
One hostage became romantically involved with the robber.
Another established a legal defense fund to help with his with legal expenses.
The term Stockholm Syndrome has since been used to describe this phenomenon, but trauma bonding was recognized by psychology many years prior to the Stockholm bank robbery.
Stockholm Syndrome has been found in studies of prisoners, hostages, and abusive relationships, such as:

• Child abuse
• Incest survivors
• Battered woman
• Cult members
• Prisoners of war
• Concentration camp survivors
• Intimidating and controlling relationships

Elements Causing Stockholm Syndrome Not everyone in these situations develops Stockholm Syndrome, but when it does develop, there are four elements involved:

1. A creditable threat to psychological or physical survival, with the belief it will be carried out;
2. Small kindnesses the abuser shows to the victim;
3. Isolation from anyone but the abuser's perspective; and
4. A perceived inability to escape.
   

Symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome

• The hostage has positive feelings toward the capture.
  
• The hostage supports the capture's reasons and behaviors.
  
• The hostage has negative feelings toward the friends, family and authorities attempting to assist or rescue them.
  
• The capture has positive feelings toward the hostage.
  
• The hostage displays an inability to engage in behaviors leading to their escape.
  

Adult Sons and Daughters of Narcissistic Personality Disordered Mothers Children of narcissistic personality disordered mothers often grow up under the constant threat of every kind of abuse.
There are then the little kindnesses sprinkled among their memories, creating a required element for the development of Stockholm Syndrome.
Children are completely dependent upon their parents.
So psychologically, growing up in a war zone of abuse, the child is very much a captive.
Survival often is a realistic concern.
As a result, the adult son or daughter may still feel as if they have no control over their lives.
As adults, there may need to be a focused effort to break the psychological control instilled by the narcissistic mother when the child was indeed a captive.