Inside The Mind of Someone Who Says, "It"s Over!"

Your partner is thinking, "It's over.
" You know this, because that's what s/he said.
There's more beneath the surface that may not get said: If you are choosing the weaker option "saving" more than likely your partner wants you to just accept by wishing you would: 1.
Stop nagging, complaining, whining, protesting-just plain STOP.
2.
Stop the unnecessary calling, stop emailing, stop hoping, stop trying 3.
Get some self respect, a back bone, and guts.
4.
Understand that it's over.
S/He wishes you would get a life-your own.
Your partner, who wants out, had to go through some things emotionally in order to make the decision to leave; it didn't happen overnight.
It was a gradual process, probably discussed with friends along the way.
It may be something completely new to you, but for your partner, it is something s/he has been dealing with for quite some time.
Here is what your partner may have been thinking many moons ago, weighing the decision ever-so-carefully and waiting for the right time to drop the bomb: [Partner]: "This isn't working for me.
I've had it.
I'm done.
Do I sacrifice my happiness or keep my partner/boyfriend/girlfriend?" Notice here that your partner is making a decision to choose him/herself over you.
It was a choice between your partner's needs and the relationship with you.
That means these two are in conflict.
[Partner]:"Save myself first.
Look elsewhere to meet my needs.
Lose my spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend.
Gain my freedom.
" This is the decision that your partner has already made.
Upon hearing that your partner wants out, you are pulled into an internal struggle, having to choose between your own dignity and self-respect (on the one hand) and your partner and family (on the other).
It feels unfair.
You may have experienced anger, shock, deep hurt, resentment, rejection, and abandonment.
With this struggle, here's what you may be thinking: [You]: "I don't feel the same way.
I want to work on this.
I want you to stay.
Can't we try? Can't we work this out?I'll do anything.
" As time goes by, you will most likely be faced with having to make a decision if you are still fighting to save your relationship, one of which is,"Do I sacrifice my dignity to save my partner and family?" After all of your hard work, you may have to: 1.
Save yourself.
2.
Avoid prolonged abuse to my self-image.
3.
Rebuild your self-esteem and, 4.
Walk away with your dignity and respect.
When you are no longer one, get back to basics and make decisions that are best for you-not for the relationship, because there is no longer a commitment to it, and you are no longer part of a team.