When is the Right Time to Start Dating?

Question: When is the Right Time to Start Dating?

When you are a GLBT teen, the question, "When is the right time to start dating?" can be a big one.

Answer:

A gay teen with concerns about dating writes:

"I was just wondering when would be the best time to start dating (I am 15). I have dated girls before I knew I was gay, so I don't think that really counts. I feel like I really want to, but I don't know of any gay, or bi guys. It seems like I'm the only one at school (I haven't come out yet though). I just feel like I really want someone to be with, and to date, but if I have to wait till college to date, I think I would be very sad."

You don't have to wait until college to date, but it is true that some teens find it easier to date after leaving home. First off, if you aren't out to mom and date it can be tough to date, and as you mention, meeting people can also be hard in high school. But meeting other GLBT teens sure isn't impossible. Whether you decide to start a gay / straight alliance at school, connect with a gay youth group at a community center, or try to make friends online (for example on the GLBT Teens forum), it is possible to find other gay teens.

Read more: How to Meet Other Gay Teens

That being said there is more to the decision about when to start dating that simply having the opportunity present itself. As another teen says,

"My advice is to be patient. Don’t rush anything or date someone simply because they are gay. Wait for someone you truley care about and then see if they are gay and/or willing to date. Remember that you are NOT the only gay kid in the world even though it might feel like it."

Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself to help determine if you are ready to start dating:

• Are you comfortable going out with a same sex date in public?
• Would you date someone who wasn't out himself?
• Would you tell your parents if you had a boyfriend?
• Would you still feel comfortable dating even if your parents didn't approve?
• If you weren't out to your parents and had a problem with someone you were dating who would you turn to for support?
• How will you deal with the issue of sex if it comes up? What if you and your partner didn't see eye to eye on being sexually active?

Read more: Are You Ready to Date?

A lot of teens--bith gay and straight--look at dating informally. Many choose to go out in groups which can take the pressure off the situation. Of course, a downside of that is that it can make it harder to tell if you are on a date or hanging out as friends. Luckily, there is a simple (though occasionally awkward) fix for that: just ask.

Ideally, you will have your parents support whatever you decide. But if you aren't able to fully confide in them about your romantic life, make sure you find someone trustworthy that you can talk to. (You can see what some other parents think about teen dating on the Parenting Teens site).
Dating can be a wonderful experience, but it can also be a tricky thing to navigate and going into a dating situation with your eyes open can make a big difference on the rocky road of love!
Read more: Great Date Ideas for Gay Teens