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- 1). Confide in a trusted friend or relative. This allows you to talk about how you are feeling and to receive sympathy, comfort and advice. If you do not have people in your life whom you can confide in, research anonymous helplines that allow you to speak with counselors. You can also use Internet message boards dedicated to heartbreak and advice to express what you are going through and to read about and offer help to others in the same situation.
- 2). Cry if and when the impulse strikes you. There is no shame in being sad about something that is sad, and there is no shame in crying when you are sad. The majority of the tears that happen after heartbreak are usually shed in the first days and weeks following the event. However, you may have a bout of crying hit you at an unexpected moment long after you have had your heart broken. It is OK to cry; it is a therapeutic, cleansing process that helps you release your pain.
- 3). Engage in activity. It is normal to want to stay in bed for a while, but eventually you must get up and get out of the house. In addition to forcing yourself to perform your normal errands and activities, become involved in other pursuits as well. Take an exercise class you have been meaning to enroll in, volunteer for a charity or get together with friends for lunch. These things cannot and should not distract you from thinking about your heartbreak, but they will help you to remain balanced in your thinking and help you to realize that the thing that happened to you does not define your life.
- 4). Avoid attempting to escape your pain through the use of drugs, alcohol or food. These are temporary coping mechanisms that may seem to help, but in the long term they are destructive and will leave you with additional problems you will need to heal from.
- 5). Assess the loss or cause of your heartbreak honestly. In the case of a death, remember the good times that you had with the person. Make the conscious choice to focus on the positive. In the case of the end of a relationship, you should again focus on the good times that you had. You should also be honest about the negative aspects. It is tempting to romanticize failed relationships and to forget the things that led to their demise.
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