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May-be you feel you're just not ready to move on in life because of something that happened to you, something you haven't been able to come to terms with, or get over, and you tell yourself that with just a little more time life will be different.
There's an immeasurable number of people who for whatever reason find it difficult, or even impossible to let go of the past, and in so doing waste much of their precious lives.
I'm sure you've heard them yourself; 'if only I could have done things differently,' or 'if only I could go back and put things right, everything would be ok.
' The reality is - you can't! What's done is done, it is not physically possible to do anything about it; and the more you focus on past events the more you deny yourself a happy and fulfilling future.
It's the future you need to focus on, that's what is important to you now; you must tell yourself that going back is simply not an option, your choice, your only choice is to move forward and experience the future.
But in order to move forward, and of course the process of letting go of the past; you will need to take responsibility for what happened.
Accepting responsibility is not accepting blame, all you need do is accept that you played some role in what happened.
Let's think of something that most of us can identify with - the breaking up of a relationship.
In this scenario you must first accept that the relationship did end, and you played some part in its demise.
Let's face it, if you weren't part of the relationship, then you wouldn't have been working within the scenario in the first place, therefore you must have been involved.
You must not though, try constantly to work out what went wrong.
This is a past event, you can't do anything now to change things - instead you must focus on what you could do next time to ensure you don't find yourself in the same situation.
Use these experiences to learn - the past is possibly the best teacher we have! Every past event we've experienced, whether pleasant or not, teaches us a great deal, and prepares us for the future.
Let's be really honest with ourselves; these past events 'are not what's happening to us now!' they don't exist today.
But you do, you exist today and your future has tremendous possibility today too! These are the things you need to focus on in order to leave the past behind.
I hope you don't think I'm being harsh, even a touch insensitive, all I want to show is that by shifting your focus - from some past experience, to the present; the 'here and now', your mind will unconsciously let go of the past.
This process may take a while and from time to time drift back, after all your mind may have been used to this place, it might even feel comfortable there; I can even hear you say; 'I can't stop thinking about it.
' - but you must resist its temptation to drift, to dwell there, say to it - 'hey that's the past - I'm here now and my life is renewed.
You really won't stop thinking about the past immediately, but as you constantly remind yourself you're now in the future, your mind will begin the changes you need to move on.
Leave your mind where it is and it'll cling to what it knows, give it something else to think about, to focus on, like the present; and it's then you'll begin moving forward and really enjoying life again.
Something else you might find useful, is to change the way you see past events.
Rather than viewing these as negative events, put a positive twist there instead.
Actually to go one further, your current perception may be to view these events in a negative way, but how do you know that's real? It's just the way you're seeing it! Change the way you see things; change the perception and a new reality will unfold.
Remember that everything that's happened to you has put you in the place you are right at this moment, you are exactly where you need to be based on the past experiences you have had.
Now begin focusing on what you want now; and you'll start the process of being exactly where you want to be in the future.
Let me tell you a little secret about your mind, in fact all of our minds.
From time to time your mind takes you into the past; tortures you, frightens you and depresses you; and it does this because that's what it knows, that's what it can identify with, and it's a comfortable place for it to be.
Your mind doesn't want to stay in the present moment because it isn't aware of the present - only you can make it aware of this current state and you do this by focusing on what's important to you now.
Take a good look at what you want to achieve in the future; starting from right now.
Think about your goals, begin to pay attention to the thought processes you have as you begin thinking of these goals.
Write down any negative thoughts and beliefs you have, then screw them up into a little ball and chuck them in the waste basket - they've gone now.
Ask what steps you are going to take to create the changes in your life, to achieve the place you want to be in the future.
Make a realistic plan, and start taking those steps; small steps are best, even a small step each day will take you there.
Attempting a giant leap every now and then is just too risky, and it probably won't work.
Begin to condition your mind so it will express a more positive attitude to everything you experience; think about how you react to things, to other people, and how you speak to them, is what you say always' in the negative, the positive or somewhere in between.
You must realize that you translate into physical reality the thoughts and attitudes you dwell on.
Your subconscious mind can and will communicate to your conscious mind; concepts, ideas and solutions to any problem, these are all waiting to come up to solve anything you need help with.
In another article we talked about 'the power of believing', and now is the time to put this power to use, to really believe the future is going to be fantastic, because you can make it so.
Copyright: Simon Lawrence
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