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This is true for kids as well.
Every kid does not make the team.
And every team does not win all its games.
Even though a child may love theater, every audition will not come up a winner.
Some hard-working kids want to make the honor roll, but don't.
It's perplexing to see parents who just can't allow their child to experience a little disappointment.
Some disappointment is good for kids.
It allows them the opportunity to learn how to persevere, take the pain, and move on to fight another day.
In fact many coaches believe a good dose of losing is a good dose of learning.
Of course, there are some situations when a child has taken enough knocks over an effort and the parents should step in to avoid disappointment overkill.
Kids should not grow up thinking they cannot do anything.
If losing becomes a habit, a lack of confidence results.
If a child tries outfor a play for four-years running and never makes it, maybe it is time to assess the child's theater prospects.
In this case, the parents may want to take such a child to a movie or out to a favorite restaurant and suggest another activity.
But most of the time, disappointment is a valuable lesson.
Yet, some parents want to step in and make it all better each time a child experiences a defeat or a setback.
They buy a child trophies that are not earned.
They try to push the hurt away with a new toy.
Some feed a child sweets and snacks thinking it will change a child's mood from disappointment to exhilaration.
Unfortunately, these parents help the child fail the relevant life lessons related to the activity.
And it gets worse.
Some parents go beyond masking life's disappointments, they do not want their child to face the consequences of the child's own actions-even when the child is wrong-even when the child misbehaves.
As a soccer coach, I've seen a child called by the referee for a foul after the child commits an obvious offense such as tripping or elbowing an opposing player.
Rather than saying something like, "watch your tripping son," or "you don't need to play that way," some parents would say "that's OK son, don't let it bother you.
" Some parents respond to their own child's fouls as if the call was an error on the part of the referee.
Outside of sports and school, there are also many opportunities for life lessons.
Wisely, many parents set aside time for a child to clean his or her bedroom or do other chores around the house.
But if they do not enforce completion of such duties, what is the child learning about responsibility? What will that child do later in life when he or she has serious responsibilities? When a child experiences a little disappointment or set back when working towards a goal, it is often good to encourage a child, but allow the child to experience the defeat and move on.
If a child does something wrong, parents need to let the child experience the consequences of the action within limits.
Parents should not get in the way of life lessons; otherwise the child will not have the advantage of the lesson.
Parents who step in too often to absorb life's bumps and bruises for their children, may take away the child's opportunity to experience true achievement, without which they cannot develop a healthy sense of self-esteem.
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