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Break Up Advice - Your Emotions Explained

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The greatest difficulty with breaking up is coping with emotional turmoil.
It's like riding on a roller coaster, one minute you have it together the next you are a mess.
Clearly getting control of your emotions is essential if you are going to cope with the situation.
What causes them and can you do anything about them? Your emotions have three major functions:
  1. Warning you of danger
  2. Motivating you to take action
  3. Letting you know if the action you took was effective
If you put your hand on something hot a sharp pain will warn you of the danger, you will be motivated to take action (pull your hand back) and if the pain subsides you know you've done enough to avert the danger.
If the pain stays you need to take further action because you are burnt, run you hand under cold water and seek medical advice.
When you feel emotional pain the process is exactly the same; you need to remove yourself from the source of the pain; if the pain continues you need to further action until the pain abates.
The pain will continue until you stop putting you hand in the fire.
If you continue to feel emotional pain you need to think about what you are doing and what you are thinking about.
Much of the pain felt during a break up is caused by obsessive thoughts about your relationship and what went wrong.
People seem to think that if they can make sense of the situation they will stop feeling so bad.
They can also fool themselves by believing that if they can understand what they did wrong they can resolve their relationship problems.
The mere act of asking questions which have no logical answer sends your brain into overload and it reacts by getting stressed.
Your recovery from heartache will not begin until you stop looking for logical explanations for your ex partners emotional and illogical actions.
There are no logical answers and the more you seek them the more you will suffer.
When you get to the point where trying to save a relationship is damaging your health then it is time to walk away.
The pain of walking away will be much shorter lived that the ongoing battle with your ex/partner.
Your emotions carry a message which requires you to take action; ignoring your emotions will result in more pain.
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