The best magazine
A recent study published in <em>Social Science Research </em>revealed that while getting out of an abusive relationship will have a positive impact on a woman in the end, the first two years after leaving could be difficult. Women may experience poorer mental health, depression, and high anxiety. However, women who had the support of friends and family showed lower levels of depression and anxiety. That is, a support system and a plan are vital.
It's common for those who are victims of domestic violence to return to their abusers if they don't have a plan in place. A safety plan helps you think beyond just escaping--it helps you prepare for your future. The steps that follow are intended to serve as guidelines after you leave the abusive relationship. Please note that the information provided in this guide is designed to maximize safety. It does not guarantee that injury or death will not occur.Do not disclose your whereabouts to your batterer under any circumstances. Do not call the batterer from your home or cell phone due to the likelihood that he has a caller identification system.Take extreme safety precautions. Be very careful about your personal safety. Tell others where you are going and when you expect to return. When you leave your home or workplace, be aware of who is around you. Ask others to walk you to your car. Use a buddy system whenever possible. You may want to consult your local police department about personal security devices you can carry with you. Also consider taking a self-defense class.Acquire safety devices for your home and your car. Obtain as many safety devices as you can for your home and your car. Such devices can range in price from economical to expensive. Decide what's right for you and your circumstances. These could include deadbolt locks on your doors, locks on your windows, outdoor lights, motion detector lights, a watchdog, alarm systems for your home and car, caller identification, and a cell phone.Enlist the support of others. Encourage friends, family members, and neighbors to call the police if they see the batterer at your home. Teach your children how to call the police and when to do so. Inform day care and/or school personnel who is allowed to pick up your children. Arrange for child visitation, if any, at the home of a neutral third party.
Make use of counseling, advocacy, and legal services. If you feel depressed and believe that you might go back to a situation that could be abusive, call someone for support or attend a support group meeting.If you are employed, take steps to protect your safety at work and your employment status.
Your place of employment can be very intimidating to your batterer because it offers you both social contacts and a means to financial independence. Job harassment (by telephone or in person) is often used in an attempt to regain control over you. Make sure your employer is aware of your situation. Practice evacuation procedures. Batterers have been known to set fire to their victims' homes. Having an emergency plan to vacate your home is a good precaution that could also come into play if the batterer breaks into your home. Make sure you have speed dial set up for emergency calls, and smoke detectors, fire ladders, and an evacuation plan set in place. Court-Related Safety StrategiesUse restraining orders. Get a restraining order to keep the batterer away from you, your children, and your home. Request status hearings for the court to monitor the batterer's compliance with the restraining order. Such monitoring makes it more likely that he will comply with the order. If the batterer violates the restraining order, insist that legal consequences be enforced. It is very important that you do not try to communicate with the batterer--doing so may "undo" your restraining order.Request an advocate. Ask for a victim advocate to go with you to all court appearances. A victim advocate can help you reclaim some of the power and control your batterer has taken from you. The advocate can also be helpful in explaining the legal process to you, making sure your interests are protected, and offering moral support. If victim advocates are not available in your community, bring a friend or a family member to court with you. During court appearances, ask to be seated in an area away from the batterer.Follow through with the legal process. Do not suggest to anyone that the charges against your batterer will be dropped. Keep in mind that the batterer, his attorney, or members of his family will probably try to manipulate you into making such a suggestion. Your batterer may try to impress you with candy, flowers, apologies, and promises to change. Do not be fooled. Be careful about going along with any suggestions regarding treatment. Treatment is not successful in stopping the abusive actions of most batterers. If you are losing your will power to follow through with the legal process, contact someone who can help you renew your determination to hold the batterer accountable.
Source: ...