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Other times it is pretty obvious.
But in both cases it's almost impossible to know what to do if your ex won't talk to you.
Let's see if I can help you if you are in this position.
Even if you were the one that broke it off you kind of expect your ex to try and make contact with you.
You may not want to talk things over but would probably be surprised if no attempt was mad to contact you.
If on the other hand you were the one dumped for a very good reason or for no reason at all it would be natural for you to try and make contact, either to explain your actions or in an attempt to make up.
Almost everyone who goes through a break up experiences a range of emotions and a lot find themselves trying to get back with their ex.
Equally though the other partner often just does not want to have any contact.
This is a self preservation reflex.
It's a lot easier to stay single if there is no contact whereas seeing and talking to your ex makes it difficult to stay strong.
So if you want to get back with an ex you need to know why we behave the way we do and respond in a manner that will break that pattern.
Here is what you need to do if your ex won't talk to you.
Don't have a knee jerk reaction.
Take some serious self analysis time and put yourselves in your ex's shoes.
How would you feel if the tables were reversed? There is probably a lot of pain there as well and you need to understand that.
Take and give some space.
Both of you need time to think, to reflect on what has happened and to decide if you really want to get back together.
The mere fact that your ex won't talk to you has got you panicking.
Use the same psychology and avoid making contact.
This creates an atmosphere of doubt.
Do not try and make contact of any sort.
No phone calls or messages and no attempts at trying to "bump into" your ex by "accident.
Do not frequent the places you used to go to together.
Absolutely no stalking.
Develop a plan.
Use this time of no contact to develop a plan and a strategy to get back with your ex.
Work on the things that you have in common and the good memo pries you have as a starting point.
You will build on these and eliminate the weaknesses or bad points.
Accept responsibility for the break up.
That does not mean you have to confess to being in the wrong, it simply means that you are also to blame and need to accept that.
Do not talk badly about your ex.
You loved your ex once and you still do so do not mention any bad points to anyone.
These things have a tendency to come back and haunt you.
Write your ex a hand written note.
People do not write notes anymore.
So a hand written letter delivered through the post will create interest and will be opened.
Now your ex might not be talking to you but you will have broken the first line of defence.
The note should be upbeat and include a thank you for something vague.
Make sure you really have something to be thankful for though because you are going to add a line suggesting you get together "just for 20 minutes over a coffee" some time in the future to thank them personally.
Create a sense of intrigue so that you get a response.
Keep any subsequent meetings short.
If you asked for a twenty minute coffee then make sure it is only 20 minutes and in all cases be sure to be the one that ends it.
Do not stay longer than promised.
Take things slowly.
If you are meeting up occasionally don't blow it by acting desperate and rushing into things.
Take your time and treat your "new" relationship as if you were starting over again.
Enjoy the courting period.
Not knowing what to do if your ex won't talk to you happens to virtually every couple that breaks up.
Sadly over 90% of those that try to make up again fail.
You now know what to do if your ex won't talk to you so follow the steps above for your best chance at success.
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