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Each and every wall within the room is scorching hot.
In my view are steam waves, which validates my reason for sweating profusely.
You can actually see the heat floating through the room.
The walls are on fire.
Demonic creatures laugh at how uncomfortable the surroundings are for me.
This isn't reality, however it feels very close to it.
In these types of situations I have to blame it on myself.
I am the one who chooses to accept the torture.
I let this individual alter the way I truly feel about myself with their thoughts.
I let my faith waiver on account of what another person thinks of me.
This is entirely unacceptable.
I am not going to lie.
I didn't smooth sail to this state of mind.
I traveled here through tearful nights and days of laughing at a circumstance that really hurt me.
I felt if I showed signs of pain it would only hurt more.
It is as if the particular person that used to look head over heels in love with me enjoys to observe me in pain, embarrassed, insecure and just feeling lousy about myself.
It use to have them satisfied to look at me smile and hurt to view me cry.
Now I think it tends to make them smile to seem me cry and angry if I'm satisfied.
I tip toe all over, afraid to smile or be pleased.
I'm forced to endure ridicule, emotional and verbal abuse.
Wait! No I'm NOT! What am I doing?!! I Gotta Believe that I deserve better than this.
That is just how it occurred...
I woke up one particular day as if I happen to be sleep walking and I was tired of anything from yesterday.
This was imperial for my mental and physical health.
I was totally deteriorating inside.
I was becoming unrecognizable to myself.
It wasn't until I believed in myself as opposed to waiting for somebody else to validate me in the name of true love did I begin to experience happiness again.
It was not until then that goodnesss came my way.
I became satisfied with who I am and stronger at accepting my flaws.
This was heaven on earth.
We create our own personal heavens and hells at times.
Flip that switch and believe in yourself...
I Gotta Believe!
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