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I've been up and down every hour since 11 pm.
I finally just gave up.
Little man is playing in the living room.
I use the term 'playing' loosely because he's actually displaying a mixture of playing with momentary wails and whines that clearly signify "I'm not going to be happy no matter what you do".
I'm exhausted.
He's unhappy.
Right now the only person winning is Charlie Sheen.
He use to sleep from 7:00 to 7:00.
After a difficult infancy, then a troubled teething process, we were absolutely thrilled to be able to sleep through the night.
That all changed approximately a month ago.
At first we noticed small displays of displeasure such as whining for one of us to get his toy instead of getting it himself and becoming unhappy within 20 minutes into a trip to the store (which he previous enjoyed).
Then he began acting out.
He was always a hearty eater and began to eat only half of his meals before playing with the food and wanting to get out of his chair.
Naps went from two at 2 hours each to one for maybe an hour and dropping the afternoon nap completely.
What use to be an effortless bedtime ritual turned into an arduous task of three rounds of crying and an hour of kicking the side of his crib before finally giving in to sleep.
Eventually he was annoyed more often than he was content..
..
all..
..
day..
..
long.
Even after being fed, changed and played with for over an hour - he would scream when we left the play area.
Our once highly communicative child began to whine for every little thing - even when we were already tending to him.
Currently every aspect of our lives is strained: sleep, work, recreation, shopping and even playtime can be arduous when the child you're playing with still gripes, fusses and complains.
We began to wonder what we had done wrong.
Why had a previously low maintenance child suddenly turned into the worst episode of SuperNanny? We didn't want to say it out loud, but both my husband and I wondered if our work-at-home dedication and overzealous playtime schedule had turned our second child into a brat.
We didn't realize at the time that we'd just hit the 18 month regression.
Toddler regression can start at any time around 18 months and last well into the 20th month (oh, yay).
Due to an increased awareness, accelerated communication skills, and the ability to keep themselves awake in spite of their exhaustion - toddlers in this phase begin to fight against all things you formerly considered "normal routine".
The main signal being their reluctance, or inability, to sleep at night.
Oddly enough, they are refusing to sleep because they are tired.
Often a precursor to this phase is the dropping of the second afternoon nap.
Parents, not knowing any better, take this as a sign that their toddler has more energy and is ready to tackle the day with only 1 - 2 hours of morning sleep under their belt...
er, diaper.
Unfortunately, if your little prince(ss) turns into a monster afterwards, this wasn't the case.
Experts across the globe all agree that it will end eventually, but you have to wait it out.
So what is a parent to do in the meantime? Bring back that second nap.
We've begun to attempt this great feat the past few days.
Of course, he isn't complying.
He babbles, then whines, then screams to be retrieved, then a few minutes later goes back to babbling and playing with his "Dogdog".
We let him stay in his bed through all of these phases; paying close attention to his sounds via monitor.
If he continues to play then we let him stay in his crib.
At least he's getting some 'rest' if not sleep.
If he screams for more than 15 minutes then we bring him back to the play area.
So far it isn't making much difference at night, but it's only been a few days.
Every parent knows that there is no overnight fix for a behavior issue, so we're determined to follow through - if for no other result than to have 30 - 45 minutes of safe separation during the day so that we keep the exhaustion and annoyance at a manageable level.
At night we practice what a clever forum mom coined as "Controlled Crying" as opposed to CIO.
She stated that CIO gives the impression that you don't care that your child is crying and never attempt to alleviate it or check their status during the process.
I couldn't agree more and believe that's why CIO has gotten such a bad rap.
Controlled Crying is a much better title for what is practiced by many caring, attentive parents.
Instead of rushing to the child just because they fuss, you listen via monitor or outside their door and, at timed intervals which gradually get longer, go into the room to quietly and calmly check on the child, pat their back, snuggle them up with their favorite soft toy and then tuck them back in before leaving the room again.
Unfortunately some nights (like tonight) that doesn't make a difference.
So myself or my husband (whichever of us has 'night duty') resign ourselves to getting no sleep and bring him down for an early morning.
A very early morning.
Our first child never went through this phase.
He was, especially in comparison, an effortless baby and child.
With little man, it's almost like we're first time parents all over again.
But, this too shall pass.
It's not easy - in fact it's very difficult.
But, as parents, we didn't sign up for 'easy'.
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