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Create Your Family Culture

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With today's society promoting instant gratification, convenience, glamour and the accumulation of "stuff", it's almost a given that our children will end up espousing these same values.
We all see younger kids walking around with some sort of device in their hands, iPods, cell phones, video games and the like.
Although that in itself is not necessarily a problem, it is the de-emphasis of childhood and family that is the larger concern.
Well, we need to recognize the impact our culture is having on our children as individuals and on our families.
The "Wii" vs.
the "We"
How do we fight this battle with society? Where do we begin? Well, first start by asking yourselves these important questions: What do we want for our family? What are our values, beliefs and goals? What does it mean to be a member of our family? Next, take the time to discuss these with your spouse and share with your children in age-appropriate ways.
Have a Family Night that includes some discussion time.
Do this at the beginning, lasting about 5-15 minutes depending on your kids ages.
Communicate your expectations clearly and positively.
For example, "The Smith's eat healthy.
" instead of saying, "No more junk food.
" Create the royal "WE" and explain how you as a family unit are special and have unique things that you believe in and do.
Once you share, allow your kids a chance to ask questions.
You may want to come up with some role-playing scenarios.
These can be turned into a game that gives your kids a chance to practice the ideas that you have discussed.
Deal Breakers It's also important to communicate that the needs of the family supersedes any one individual.
Creating the routine of Family Nights on a regular basis will allow each family member to have a place to express themselves.
This time for family bonding combined with a place and time to be heard will help everyone buy into the "WE" instead of the "Wii" concept.
Additionally, be sure to communicate those things which are absolutely unacceptable.
When spoken about in black and white terms, kids will understand and respect the boundaries much more often.
For example, smoking or physical violence may be one of these deal breakers.
Be clear about the consequences of these behaviors and remember that while repetition of the rules is important, be careful not to focus on the negative all the time.
Just Do It The way to really make this work in your lives is to be sure that your daily routines reflect your beliefs.
This is your Family Culture in action.
For instance, if you believe that family time is important, then you may need to limit each individual's outside commitments, including yours! Family dinnertime is a huge way to encourage family closeness and it requires a commitment on everyone's part.
This is an example of a choice that you make that reflects your priorities.
By consistently communicating this to your kids, you will find that they will not only buy into your Family Culture, but that they will keep you honest as well.
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