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- 1). Draft a petition for dissolution of marriage, either on your own or with the help of an attorney. If you are filing your own divorce, most states have divorce forms online, and all have the forms available at the clerk of court's office. The petition must include jurisdiction (where the parties were married or lived as a married couple, if not married in the county they are divorcing in), the allegations (irreconcilable differences), the minor children born to the marriage and how you want your assets and liabilities divided. It must also contain requests for child support and alimony, if applicable.
- 2). Draft a summons. A summons is the document that tells the respondent/wife where to send the response to the petition. It also tells the process server where to find the respondent/wife so he can serve her with the petition. The summons also tells the respondent/wife how many days she has to file her response. If a response is not filed in that time frame, you can ask the clerk for a default. A default means the wife did not respond to the lawsuit, and, if she doesn't show up for the default final hearing and give the court a good reason as to why she did not answer (show good cause), you get everything you asked for in the petition.
- 3). File a notice in the newspaper if your wife cannot be found and you have exhausted every avenue to find her. You must file an affidavit showing where you looked for your wife, including using available online government searches such as the property appraiser's office, the tax office and the sheriff's office. These searches are also available in person.
- 4). Wait the number of days on the summons. A common time frame is 20 days (some states give more, some may give less). On the 21st day, go to the clerk of court and ask for a default. The time starts running the day after the wife is served with the petition. The process server files a document that tells you the date and time the wife was served.
If you filed a notice in the newspaper, you must wait a period of time designated by your state's statutes and/or rules of civil procedure before moving forward with a final hearing. - 5). File a family law financial affidavit, a notice of social security number, an affidavit of military service and, if your state requires it, a uniform child custody jurisdiction act form. All the forms are available either online or at the clerk's office. The forms are designed so that the lay-person can fill them out, but if you need help with the form from your particular state, most clerks' offices have staff that can help you with the forms. Each state's forms might have their own formats. These documents can be filed at any time during the first few weeks of the process, whether you were able to find your wife and serve her in the conventional way or you had to publish a notice in the newspaper.
- 6). Attend mediation if your state requires it and you were able to find and serve your wife. Some states, such as Florida, require mediation because the courts are so crowded. If you cannot find your wife, you cannot attend mediation and must go right to the final hearing. After mediation, attend the final hearing. If you settle at mediation, the final hearing is a short matter before the court to "prove up" the divorce--the court asks you questions such as your address, if there are kids, what their dates of births are and if you signed the agreement willingly. If you did not settle, the court or your lawyer determines how much time is needed for a final hearing, based on the number of issues and whether you were able to find and serve your wife.
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