Family Meeting Ideas on Elder Care

• Deciding upon the care of an elderly family member can be difficult and stressful.grand p?¡§re image by Emmanuel MARZIN from Fotolia.com
  
  Ideally, when decisions must be made regarding an elderly person's care, all vital family members, such as their children, are involved. Hopefully, the job isn't inherited by just one person, although that frequently happens. It is in the best interest of everyone, particularly the elderly person, if the family can routinely get together and discuss what should be done, how it should be done and when it should be done.
  
  

First Meeting

• Do not have the elderly person present at the first meeting because he may become upset. Discuss possible options for home health care, assisted-living or moving the elderly person to a rest home. Create a plan of action and work together, not against each other.
  
  

Inviting the Elderly Person

• Later on in the process, include the elderly person in the discussion if at all possible, so she won't feel as if she's being left out, discarded or bullied by her family members. Loss of independence is a very scary thing. Do not forget that the elderly person still has rights and must be allowed to voice her opinion and preferences.
  
  

Define the Goal

• Determine the goal at the initial meeting. You may not resolve this easily or quickly, but, hopefully, you can come to an agreement. Do not try to undertake all things at once. Proceed one step at a time. If the elderly person is suffering from Alzheimer's, collect material on this topic in advance of the meeting and distribute it, so all parties understand the situation.
  
  

Write It Down

• As you start making decisions, outline which family member is responsible for what specific job and write it down. Make copies so everyone knows what he is supposed to be doing and when, and make sure that everyone involved gets a copy.
  
  

Moderator

• If you anticipate that the discussion is going to become heated, opt to have a moderator present, such as the elderly person's doctor or a hospital social worker who is familiar with the situation. Your minister or priest also might be a good choice.
  
  

Leading the Meeting

• Do not allow one person to dominate the meeting, and do not interrupt someone when he is speaking. The person leading the meeting needs to keep it under control, but she also must be fair. Do not use "I" statements, and do not use accusatory words, such as "You did not do your part."
  
  

Stay on Topic

• Do not get off topic and venture into age-old family arguments that you've been fighting over for years.
  
  

Find Common Ground

• Try to reach common ground on at least one topic that has been addressed, and then decide what you are going to specifically address it at the next meeting. Set a time, date and place for that meeting.