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- 1). Lie on the couch all the time. In any household, there are countless chores that need to be done on any given day. If you don't make an effort to tackle at least one or two of these each day--while your wife does the dishes, sweeps, makes dinner, serves and cleans up afterward--she's sure to hit the ceiling.
- 2). Refer to household chores, yard work or childcare duties as "women's work." This is a universal sign of a loutish husband, and is guaranteed to make your wife mad.
- 3). Make rude observations about her clothes, hairstyle or shoes. If you really don't want to be married any more, make a snide comment about her weight.
- 4). Leave the toilet seat up. There's nothing like falling in a toilet to piss off a wife. It is especially jarring in the middle of the night. In some situations, it can even result in your wife being injured.
- 5). Monopolize the TV remote and always be the one to choose what you both watch. Insist on watching "Rambo," "Rocky" or any other movie starring an unattractive, muscle-bound man (or several). On those rare occasions that you let your wife watch a more female-friendly movie, laugh at the most emotional parts.
- 6). Stay out for hours without calling and letting your wife know where you are. Don't tell her in advance that you are going out; when you return, don't tell her where you went. You will certainly get her pissed off, though this may end in your wife moving out.
- 7). Tell her how much more important your job is than hers--especially if her job is taking care of a household and children.
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