Moving in with a Boyfriend After Divorce

Having a divorce is not the end of the world. Life permits you to move on and find someone new. If you are serious about this person, you can live together. But all might not be as easy as it seems.  If you have children, your ex could make an issue out of it. And fight for child custody and probably win. So, before moving in with a boyfriend after a divorce, get to know if it's really worth it.

Deciding Factor

Moving in with a boyfriend after a divorce is a sensitive issue. When you want to move in with someone after a divorce, the reasons should not be about you alone. What relationship does your child have with him? Are they chummy? Does your child feel comfortable when you are together? Is your boyfriend a worthy role model for your child? Does your child want to accept him as a role model?

If your child is not comfortable with him. You create a difficult situation. Never pride the relationship you have with your partner over that of your child. Even if they don't click at first, all is not lost. It could just take some getting used to by both parties.

If your child and partner do not share a bond, moving in with your boyfriend after a divorce might be a wrong option.

Set Boundaries

As your new partner becomes part of your home, set boundaries for everyone. Let your child show respect for your new man. And your partner should also know he's relating with a child and show patience in all dealings.

It is important to keep communication channels open on all fronts. So if a situation developed it can be talked about and resolved. Moving in with a boyfriend after a divorce should never cloud your judgment. Just because he is giving you a roof and picking up bills does not mean you should not be objective and fair.

Be Diplomatic

Your ex will rightly express concern about your situation. Your ex will have issues about you moving in with a boyfriend after a divorce. He will examine how this affects his child and look for ways to address it. Be diplomatic and make things easier by having him meet your new man.

He might also be worried if you have found a replacement for him. You need to assure him that your new partner is not a replacement. And that he will always be the father.

If your boyfriend is a negative influence on your child, you need to take charge before your ex does. He could use it as a leverage to fight for custody.

 Moving in with a boyfriend after a divorce is not something you should rush into. Make sure it is not your hormones raging. Gauge the relationship and see if moving in will help it even more. See if your child builds a bond with your boyfriend. You would want to confirm this before  you move in and not after.

Take charge and set boundaries for everyone to follow. Bring your ex into the loop, let him know he's child is in a safe environment. And that he does not lose his place as a father. The choices you make are not only for you. But also for your child.