How to Write a Joke in 3 Easy Steps

Want to know how to write a joke? Maybe you're a best man or an aspiring comic and don't know where to start? Perhaps you want to write great comic literature but can't figure out quite how to go about it? Do you just want to make someone laugh? Well, every joke has three things in common and I am not only going to show you what those things are but also how to use them to construct your first joke.
You will need the following things for your joke: 1) A story 2) An assumption about your story 3) a counter assumption about your story 1) Your story: First of all you take your story and you start telling it.
Simple right? Lets use this incredibly old example: "A man walks in to a bar" 2) An assumption about your story: In this instance you assume that the man has walked in to some sort of drinking establishment.
3) A counter assumption about your story: A bar can also be something made of metal or wood.
Now all we have to do is mix the two assumptions together to give us the joke: A man walks in to a bar He says ouch It was a metal bar.
OK, I know that's incredibly old but have a look at these two examples, they all work the same way.
My wife gets so jealous.
She came home from work and was mad at me because there was a pretty girl on the bus [The story and we have now made the assumption that he is going to like the girl] she thought I would have liked [The counter assumption here.
He doesn't like the woman, in fact he's never even seen her] (Ray Romano) I saw 6 men kicking and punching my mother-in-law.
The wife said "Aren't you going to help?" [The story starts and we assume that he is going to help his mother-in-law] "No," I said, "6 should be enough" [He was actually going to help the group of people attacking his mother-in-law].